My parents kicked me out on christmas morning. my sister smiled: “back to your place, loser.” i went to the bank with the cedar box grandpa gave me.

use was apparently going beautifully.

Madison posted pictures online.

Her diamond engagement ring sparkled beneath the caption:

THE HALE EMPIRE’S NEXT CHAPTER.

I almost admired the timing.

At 4:17 p.m., Dad called.

“You left some junk here.”

“Keep it.”

He sighed dramatically.